From the category archives:

Ha!

Whitewashed

February 21, 2009

You don’t see chefs proudly wearing smeared chorizo sausages over their apron. You don’t see financial analysts stapling printouts of spreadsheets to their businesswear. You certainly don’t see actors stickytaping DVDs across their own bodies. So why do painters insist on wearing white uniforms to show off just how hard they’ve worked each day?! Dudes, [...]

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I Telecommanded Your Mum

February 19, 2009

Everyone’s got those lovey-dovey couples’ nicknames for each other… honeypie. Sweetie. Erotically charged buttock-boil. (Okay, maybe we’re not all married to Dani Filth). What I truly relish is those nicknames ascending into highly abusive condemnations, which somehow still remain endearing. Yelling “NOOB!” at each other over the last few years has somehow organically blossomed into [...]

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The Life History of Maggie “Evil” Tabberer

November 6, 2008

For some reason, Maggie Tabberer scares the shit out of me. She just seems to exhude pure evil. I mean, look at her. Wearing a cape and… plotting. You try and prove anyone wearing a cape isn’t evil (my own 15-year-old goth misadventures in a quest to find a sense of self not included). That [...]

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Ladies Should… Poo?

October 21, 2008

Against every fibre of my being, something inside me wants to rise up and destroy every physical object in the postcode region when I see prominently displayed spelling errors. Our local discount emporium is currently blaring the following fluorescent green sign out the front of their store, in what I truly hope is a discount [...]

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