From the category archives:

Homo-ness

Goddamn Identical Twins!

June 10, 2010

This is one of those posts that could get me into all sorts of trouble in real life, but here goes anyway… A couple of weeks ago, I was attending the local gay bar – although I’m generally more of a gigs kinda guy, this bar’s only a short stumble home from my new apartment. [...]

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Presenting My Jason Akermanis Newspaper Column Generator

May 22, 2010

If you’re into Aussie Rules football, you’ve probably heard about Jason Akermanis’ rather unique newspaper column on gay players in the AFL. Well, I’ve decided to make his job easier in the future. Presenting: The Jason Akermanis Newspaper Column Generator. View it now before the Herald Sun clues onto my idea and starts doing it [...]

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The Loudest Ringtone Known to Man

January 19, 2010

Over the weekend, I attended the carnival day for Melbourne’s queer festival, Midsumma. It’s always a bit of an odd event, especially with all the stalls and attractions that have only the most tenuous relationship to the queer community. Exactly why Myki (Melbourne’s new public transport ticketing system) had such an enormous presence at the [...]

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Top 5 Things I Can Do Now I’m Single

January 18, 2010

Well, howdy there. I’ve settled into my new place, and have plenty of recent events to write about in the coming weeks: berko neighbours, household disasters, and a New Year’s Eve skinnydipping jellyfish sting disaster among others. Hopefully this is the start of almost-daily blog updates again. There were certain activities which really seemed to [...]

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Five Reasons Why I Won’t be Renewing my Xbox Live Subscription

August 18, 2009

My taste in videogames is possibly the worst you’ve ever come across. My enthusiasm wanes if a game doesn’t involve matching three coloured gems, desk-gnawingly pointless trivia contests or repetitive actions set to music (let me tell you about my embarrassingly laser-precise Dance Dance Revolution skills some time). Console games are something I’ve only ever [...]

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Music Genres That Homos Should Claim As Their Own, IMMEDIATELY

April 2, 2009

The world’s current financial regurgitation has caused me to notice that everyone’s too bloody distracted to pay attention to whimisical matters at present. So, I’ve been concocting a plan. For too long, us gay folk have only lorded over the kind of dance music that perms hair through audio power alone. Disco is also a [...]

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Dear Authors of Any Gay Fiction

February 5, 2009

This evening, I witnessed some excrutiatingly bad/unintentionally hilarious gay local theatre as part of Melbourne’s Midsumma festival. There was a giveaway that we were attending gay theatre – the production company thoughtfully left packs of lube and condoms on the seats as we entered. Classy! Right from the start, this had me concerned about what [...]

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Introducing the Semi-Concerning Problems Hotline

December 21, 2008

There’s barely four hours of sleep in me, but what a night! We had a bit of a gay pub crawl around the city and ended up crawling home at 4am. I’ve always marvelled at the uniqueness of the “back room” concept at gay bars. Really, it’s just ticking the last missing box for the [...]

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Making it to Third Bass

October 18, 2008

After a lifetime of household members unexpectedly entering a room to find me thrashing around and jumping off furniture, in what usually began as air guitar but always progressed to some sort of impression of the onset of an airborne orgasm; I decided to learn bass guitar for real this year. My selection criteria for [...]

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Enter the Gaytrix

March 3, 2006

Last night was spent in one of those modern horrors: pubs entirely enclosed in shopping centres (to my credit, at the behest of a hot girl I haven’t caught up with in months). This particular pub scores even more points of infamy for attempting to recreate a beer garden indoors. Please, please stop with the [...]