From the category archives:

Music and gigs

Rammstein’s Awesomely Inappropriate Remixes

March 9, 2010
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Rammstein’s latest album is a pretty good return to form. It’s accessible bouncy industrial, although their subject matter often veers towards the unhinged — porn, cannibalism sex… actually, pretty much every sexual perversion you can think of. Because they’re belting it out in German, it sounds that much more evil.
The remixes on their latest single [...]

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Top 5 Things I Can Do Now I’m Single

January 18, 2010
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Well, howdy there. I’ve settled into my new place, and have plenty of recent events to write about in the coming weeks: berko neighbours, household disasters, and a New Year’s Eve skinnydipping jellyfish sting disaster among others. Hopefully this is the start of almost-daily blog updates again.
There were certain activities which really seemed to irk [...]

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Gaslight Music: Melbourne’s Most Naked and Awesome Record Store

September 28, 2009

Melbourne’s best and most bizarre record store has got to be the sadly-demised Gaslight Music. What other music store was famous for annual nude days, semi-secret promotions which involved making a spectacle of yourself in the store for free CDs and in-store appearances that constantly resulted in the store’s destruction? Although it closed in 2005, [...]

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How to Stop Showering and Score Girls

September 15, 2009

What’s wrong with this sentence? You look homeless, smell like you’ve bathed in Tommy Lee’s sweat, have almost no cash to your name, are borderline alcoholic, can barely string a legible sentence together but are utterly drowning in the affections of women. HOW? HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN?
Simply add the words “you play guitar in a [...]

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Can’t Come to Work, I’m on Beard Leave

August 13, 2009

My goatee is something I’m rather fond of. Unfortunately, accidental facial hair makeovers are common in my life.
It could be my blindness in one eye, but whenever I step in front of the mirror, it seems I get a little overzealous when tidying up my whiskers. Usually, I misjudge my shaving and become convinced that [...]

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Sexist Septoplasty

July 28, 2009

Over the past few weeks I’ve been spending a little quality time with a nose specialist. No, I’m not flirting with the notion of transforming my honker into a sharpened beak that could sharpen a knife. Just getting my nasal breathing problems fixed, as I mentioned a few months ago.
My regular doctor referred me to [...]

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This is the Most Fascinatingly Awful Band I’ve Heard in Eons

July 13, 2009

Look, I do my very best not to give anyone crap for liking a particular musical artist. Lord knows my own taste is highly suspicious: although I’m primarily a fan of punk, hard rock and metal, it’s no secret that my gym playlist is frequently home to the tackiest pop groups in history. You may [...]

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Why So Serious?

July 6, 2009

What is that causes fun-l0ving musical artists who don’t take themselves seriously, to suddenly go all solemn and release an album that’s a po-faced platitudinous musical fart in the wind? I’m all for bands exploring their sounds, but is it necessary to be belting out a fun lovin’ rock anthem one moment, only to violently [...]

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If You’re a Journalist Suffering ADHD, I’ve Got a Magazine Who Wants to Employ You

May 25, 2009

For many years now, I’ve subscribed to Kerrang! magazine. If you’re unfamiliar with the subject matter, it was recently described as “the metal equivalent of a teenage gossip magazine” by the host of my favourite music podcast. He’s bang on the money.
There’s been a few things that’ve started bugging me about the magazine in recent [...]

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There’s a Bloody Good Reason Why CDs were Limited to 74 Minutes in Length

May 16, 2009

Now that MP3 downloads are about to supersede CDs completely, there’s an unexpected threat on the horizon. To date, artists have been forced to limit their albums to 74 minutes or less, to fit within the maximum length of a CD.
Albums in MP3 format terrifyingly remove this time restriction. Did you think the recent resurgence [...]

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