From the category archives:

Music and gigs

Time to Get This Dirty Teenage Secret Out in the Open

May 24, 2010
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It’s time to confess something which I’ve repressed since puberty. A deep, dark secret that only a handful of friends are aware of. Y’see, as a teenager, I made that eventual transition from loving cheesy top 40 music to angry, alternative music… just like any angsty pubescent kid does. In my case, I began a [...]

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Pugwall: Where Is He Now?

May 12, 2010
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If you grew up in Australia in the late 80s, you’d remember the bodacious kid’s TV series Pugwall. The premise was that these kids had a badass band, the Orange Organics — just check out the killer intro! Growing up, I was constantly ribbed that I had a strange resemblance to the main character, Pugwall. [...]

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Rammstein’s Awesomely Inappropriate Remixes

March 9, 2010
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Rammstein’s latest album is a pretty good return to form. It’s accessible bouncy industrial, although their subject matter often veers towards the unhinged — porn, cannibalism sex… actually, pretty much every sexual perversion you can think of. Because they’re belting it out in German, it sounds that much more evil. The remixes on their latest [...]

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Top 5 Things I Can Do Now I’m Single

January 18, 2010
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Well, howdy there. I’ve settled into my new place, and have plenty of recent events to write about in the coming weeks: berko neighbours, household disasters, and a New Year’s Eve skinnydipping jellyfish sting disaster among others. Hopefully this is the start of almost-daily blog updates again. There were certain activities which really seemed to [...]

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Gaslight Music: Melbourne’s Most Naked and Awesome Record Store

September 28, 2009

Melbourne’s best and most bizarre record store has got to be the sadly-demised Gaslight Music. What other music store was famous for annual nude days, semi-secret promotions which involved making a spectacle of yourself in the store for free CDs and in-store appearances that constantly resulted in the store’s destruction? Although it closed in 2005, [...]

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How to Stop Showering and Score Girls

September 15, 2009

What’s wrong with this sentence? You look homeless, smell like you’ve bathed in Tommy Lee’s sweat, have almost no cash to your name, are borderline alcoholic, can barely string a legible sentence together but are utterly drowning in the affections of women. HOW? HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN? Simply add the words “you play guitar in [...]

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Can’t Come to Work, I’m on Beard Leave

August 13, 2009

My goatee is something I’m rather fond of. Unfortunately, accidental facial hair makeovers are common in my life. It could be my blindness in one eye, but whenever I step in front of the mirror, it seems I get a little overzealous when tidying up my whiskers. Usually, I misjudge my shaving and become convinced [...]

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Sexist Septoplasty

July 28, 2009

Over the past few weeks I’ve been spending a little quality time with a nose specialist. No, I’m not flirting with the notion of transforming my honker into a sharpened beak that could sharpen a knife. Just getting my nasal breathing problems fixed, as I mentioned a few months ago. My regular doctor referred me [...]

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This is the Most Fascinatingly Awful Band I’ve Heard in Eons

July 13, 2009

Look, I do my very best not to give anyone crap for liking a particular musical artist. Lord knows my own taste is highly suspicious: although I’m primarily a fan of punk, hard rock and metal, it’s no secret that my gym playlist is frequently home to the tackiest pop groups in history. You may [...]

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Why So Serious?

July 6, 2009

What is that causes fun-l0ving musical artists who don’t take themselves seriously, to suddenly go all solemn and release an album that’s a po-faced platitudinous musical fart in the wind? I’m all for bands exploring their sounds, but is it necessary to be belting out a fun lovin’ rock anthem one moment, only to violently [...]

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