From the category archives:

Really old posts

Sizzling

August 23, 2002

‘There’s got to be somewhere we can eat,’ moaned Adam, as we trudged our way around the block for the third time. Yes, even though we live on a street renowned for its higgeldy-piggeldy range of international cuisine which can result in varying stages of bowel problems; we are never able to agree where to [...]

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Most Embarrassing Incident in Professional Career to Date: Candidate #1

August 19, 2002

Scene: The foyer area of Jeb’s work. All staff have left for drinks at the local hotel. Jeb enters stage right and Respected Office Worker enters stage left, simultaneously. Respected Office Worker: Oh! I thought everyone had gone out for drinks. Jeb: (stumbles through drunken haze) I just went. Worker: Ah. But now you’re here. [...]

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Theme Toilets

August 13, 2002

Our new local pub is quite possibly the most average, middle-of-the-line hotel you could imagine. You’ve got a couple of TAB TV screens showing the horse-racing. A couple of pokie machines bunged in the corner to guarantee at least some flow of steady revenue. The usual beers on tap for a Sydney hotel. And subsequently, [...]

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iCough

August 7, 2002

Adam has become ill over the last few days, and not in the Channel V sense of the word. For the most part, he’s been suffering a searing fever, which has proven most convenient for me on these cold winter nights. Yet I can never tell if he’s putting everything on or not. In the [...]

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Food With Altitude

August 5, 2002

It’s always puzzled my friends that Adam and I refrain from giving each other presents on our birthdays. No big deal to us, though: we’re both just pigheaded and are convinced that each of us has no idea what we should be giving each other, even after almost three years of going out. So on [...]

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Local Hazards

July 30, 2002

A simple act of procuring groceries from the local supermarket is no longer a safe process, now that we’re living on Oxford Street – not a locale commonly associated with the championing of traditional family values. Around here, it’s more about Glamour Homelessness melded with Nightclub Fever. Oh, and the occasional Dramatic Murder. Which naturally [...]

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Happy Fraudulent Birthday

July 17, 2002

It’s my twenty-third birthday! Many thanks to all friends who thrust humble gift-type objects in my general direction. To Adam, for the dinner conducted at high altitude in a bona fide rotating restaraunt. To my parents and sisters, for the thoughtful presents. But most of all, to Paypal, who graciously allowed an anonymous shady character [...]

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Look at this Quality Consumer Electronics Product! Also, My Breasts!

June 22, 2002

Wary as I am of such nerd-herding events as Consumer Electronics Shows, the vast and promising expanse of a weekday off work propelled me to the event regardless. It seemed like a pretty cool event. Yet I was quick to discover this was by and large to be populated by vaguely outdated gadgets with internet [...]

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Life Decisions, Episode 58: To Bash Cyclists, or Encounter Scientologists?

June 11, 2002

Every evening on the cursed route I elect to walk home from work, I encounter the same greasy little balding offensive man whose penis undoubtedly resembles a fun-size Mars bar. I’ve attempted to navigate home via an alternative route, but this involves traversing around lots of eager cyclists. I mean, sure; if we don’t drive [...]

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Arse

June 10, 2002

At least there’s no longer that niggling hindrance which requires me to individually track how much each employee of the company I work at knows about my personal life. Adam’s either a ‘flatmate’ or a ‘manfuck’, depending on how much the person involved knows. However, at some post-works drinks last week, one random staff member [...]

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