From the category archives:

Really old posts

Terror on the Top Level

June 7, 2002

Adam and I are now happily situated in our new apartment – all moved in without a problem. Initially, we were fascinated by this building: everyone here is so friendly. It doesn’t matter who you travel in the elevator with, they’ll be more than happy to share their clubbing plans for the evening with you, [...]

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House Music Verbalised

May 20, 2002

Little analogue version of fly buzzing. Louder analogue version of fly buzzing! IMMENSELY BIZARRE ROARING ANALOGUE VERSION OF FLY BUZZING WITH SIMULATED AND SLIGHTLY OUT OF PLACE FEEDBACK! Synthetic drum crash sample, the likes of which not witnessed since the 80′s. Monotonous chord progression nicked from a grunge song. Unable to differentiate if this may [...]

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Leatherman

May 16, 2002

For weeks I’ve been relentlessly battered with technical information about Adam’s magical knife/screwdriver object his work is purchasing for him. Somehow, no matter how mundane my actions, I’m continually advised that the arrival of this fabled object will be able to enhance my lifestyle. This included everything from eating cereal (“It probably even has a [...]

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Terrified Urination

May 13, 2002

‘Just going to the toilet,’ I nodded to Adam and Jack; and stumbled haphazardly towards the general direction of the toilets. We’d been guzzling some beers on a warm afternoon, and had taken the brave step of selecting one of the gayest bars in Sydney as the location to do so. The only problem with [...]

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I Take My Globalisation With Two Sugars

April 17, 2002

I’m strictly not a slave to the ways of coffee. Coffee was never something I’ve taken a particular interest in – in fact, my incompetence at ordering brunch-related beverages has become quite well known. Deciding one day to face my fears, I hazarded a step into a Starbucks outlet, and as if the coffee-related hustle [...]

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Googly-Booglies

April 8, 2002

Adam and I are battling to raise the funds for a move out of this suburb. We’re sure we can find somewhere which is close to the city, yet doesn’t generate that slightly nagging feeling whenever we pay the rent that in one year we’ve paid enough money to finance several cosmetic surgery operations. Well… [...]

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Generation Next

March 14, 2002

I work a couple of weekend shifts. This lies happily hand-in-hand with my slightly beleaguered social life, but also results in bizarre Saturdays where I have good intentions of being productive – but usually end up in a gabfest with the three other staff rostered on weekends. Topics of debate or personal questions are typically [...]

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Ain’t No Wallflower (Or: My Last Bad Job Interview Story For Now – I Promise)

March 9, 2002

I ambled into the recruitment agency’s foyer – this was an interview I was preparing to treat with great disregard, as I’d had an amazingly promising interview just the day before. I was feeling so confident about my previous interview that it was a fair bet I had that job (the next day, I ended [...]

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Kangacore

February 10, 2002

(Scene: a train station. I am happily waiting for my train, when a slightly distressed woman turns from her male friend to me). Woman: Please settle this argument for me. Me: Sure. Woman: You know the song from Skippy? Me: The kangaroo? Man: Yes. Woman: I did not ask you. Man: I’m only t- Woman: [...]

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Jeb Umbrella Catalogue 2002

February 4, 2002

Hi, umbrella lovers! Wait until you see our new ‘n improved models for the new year! It may be grey skies and rainy days – but that’s exactly what you want, to show off your new 2002 Jeb Umbrella! ManBrella™ 2002 This year’s model of the supersized umbrella for the real man, ManBrella™, features masculine [...]

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