From the category archives:

Really old posts

Happy Virtual MSPAINT.EXE Birthday!

July 17, 2005

It’s my birthday! And all I’m asking for as presents, are gifts created entirely in Microsoft Paint. EMAIL ME YOUR BADLY DRAWN YET LUCRATIVE PREZZIES IMMEDIATELY! Go on, fire up crappy ole Microsoft Paint and wack something up, then send it to me: jeb at tastes like drunk dot com. I’ll post my birthday swag [...]

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Cats are Losin’, Gas-Based Boozin’, Anti-Smoking Legislation is Cruisin’

July 12, 2005

My beloved Catties lost their match against Sydney on Saturday – the only match of the year I’ll get to see them play. In fact, not so much lost their match as suffered a public double-penetration in multiple orifices. Got me buggered what causes that team to fall apart every time they dare step foot [...]

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150 Daily Minutes of Joy

July 9, 2005

Considering how our yuppie stereotype neighbours languish in their Craig-David-Robbie-Williams-Dido-Freedom-Furniture-Showroom existence, it’s a godsend that our other neighbour keeps to himself. Well, in a reserved, creepy, John Burgess kinda way. There’s not much that we know about this guy, mostly because he doesn’t flail around in his front yard with dislocated wrist bones, wailing about [...]

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When I Manage to Hack, It’s a Crap Hack at Best

July 3, 2005

Adam and I, in an attempt to proactively eliminate any drunken pizza orders, have lately been ensuring that we have frozen pizza and frozen garlic bread on hand at all times. Those Pizza Hut bills sure do add up (even if you try that hack on their site which gives you super cheap meal deals [...]

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Guaranteed Hangover Paranoia Cure

July 2, 2005

I just saw the video clip to “Buffalo Stance” by Neneh Cherry on TV. She’s all dancing in front of a Windows 3.1 screensaver and shit, with the word “Gigolo” randomly appearing in (appropriately) native Windows 3.1 fonts all over the screen. Was pissing myself laughing within the first 10 seconds. Like, I’m sure that [...]

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Wave Your Disjointed Arms Around in The Air Like You Just Don’t Care

June 27, 2005

Adam and I have now escaped from our Fitness Farce memberships and, rather sensibly, joined the gym closest to our place, which is also a lot cheaper. At the new gym, the treadmills are stuck in the window like a shop display – I get to show off my arse to everyone absently wandering past [...]

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Beverage-Related Roundup

June 13, 2005

1. Diet Coke was featuring a contest over the last few weeks – “Win the Life of an X-Factor Contestant!” In retrospect, this would seem to be either an ill-advised investment by Coke’s marketing team; or an incredibly well-planned piece of quasi-existential art (ie, it would now seem that everyone is a winner). 2. We [...]

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Fitness Farce

June 5, 2005

Incredibly rare that I’m awake and blinking the sleep out of my eyes this early on a Sunday morning, but it’s a special, violent occasion! The big Kostya Tszyu fight is on pay per view this morning, so Adam and I have a few mates coming around to watch. Now the challenge is to resist [...]

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Just When CityRail Get Their Train Times Back up to Scratch… THIS Happens

May 24, 2005

My weekday begins any time between 5am and 6am – I like to get to work early, get everything over and done with, then zip back home and have plenty of time to myself in the afternoon. An added benefit of this is that the daily commute becomes the daily “….whaaaa, I just woke up, [...]

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When Sexually Deprived Men Snap

May 22, 2005

This week left me left gasping in dismay after learning that our yuppie neighbours actually own their David Jones display home apartment. I can no longer desperately cling to the thin hope that they’ll eventually move out. There’s no longer a distant promise to an end of erupting laughter to constant viewings of Friends repeats, [...]

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