From the category archives:

Really old posts

No Wonder I Haven’t Been Promoted Yet

April 19, 1999

When I say things like this, it’s no wonder I’m not getting any higher than my current position at work: Ms Superiority (resident office bitch): *trips over chair and goes hurtling, limbs flailing* Me: Well, I’ll give you a 9 for style. Ms Superiority (resident office bitch): *dark, evil, steaming glare* But Ms Superiority isn’t [...]

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Piss of Death

April 17, 1999

I had a really shit scary dream last night. It’s been a very long time since I had a nightmare that seriously scared me, but I had one last night. Basically, some bombers came to Melbourne and completely destroyed the place with these giant yellow rays. It suspiciously looked like urine flying everywhere. Hmm. I [...]

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When Merchandising Goes Too Far

April 16, 1999

Stupid Products That Really Exist #4052: a snowboard with this year’s AFL fixtures on it. As witnessed in Target by myself.

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It’s Snot Funny

April 15, 1999

I’m writing this entry while I am supervising another night school exam at my work (a uni). I feel like a bit of a dill, because I suspected that 2 guys down the back of the room were copying each others’ work. I’d been giving them stern looks all evening (ah, power…) I thought I’d [...]

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You Think You Know Someone…

April 13, 1999

I got off from supervising an exam this evening at my work, although I still had to work a little later than usual. It’s my sole purpose for living at the moment. I visited the Body Shop on my lunch break today to be confronted with something that haunted me all day. I saw a [...]

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Her Breasts Hold All the Answers

April 12, 1999

Right now I’m working 13 hour shifts at my university – I’m supervising the evening classes’ exams. As you can imagine, sitting there for 3 hours tends to bore you shitless, so while I was sitting there tonight, I wrote down a list of all the little quirks you see the students doing. You know, [...]

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Erotic Liquorice

April 9, 1999

Sitting on the train today, I noticed someone blow his nose into his tissue, but then he did something I didn’t really expect. He opened his tissue in full view of everyone else to check out the goober he’d snorted out (no doubt giving himself a score out of 10). He probably has a whole [...]

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Inverse Recycling

April 7, 1999

I found out something interesting today. There are heaps of recycling bins in my workplace, and I make extensive use of these. I even walk the extra distance away from my desk so I can be environmentally friendly, and throw my paper in the recycle bin. I found out something I’m not supposed to know [...]

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Are You a Pervert Yet?

April 7, 1999

At work today, I ventured into the staff lunch room. And then wished I hadn’t. I remembered why I’d been staying away from the place. Every day at lunch time, a certain subculture of the staff at my work huddle together to try and work out the daily general knowledge quiz in the Herald-Sun newspaper. [...]

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Drinking Urine

April 5, 1999

Well, my car is still dead, so me and my flatmate had to actually walk to the supermarket today. The 7 minutes almost killed me. Have you ever noticed when you walk into a supermarket and go to grab one of those red baskets you put your groceries in, that the basket on the top [...]

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