From the category archives:

Really old posts

MELBOURNE!

March 4, 2003

Yeah! We’re moving back to Melbourne! Rock! Adam thought of the idea last week, and it actually makes a great deal of sense. He’s left his job and is currently working freelance. I’m going to get laid off within the next couple of months (it’s not entirely clear exactly when, but we’re talking about multinationals, [...]

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Artistically Abstract

February 27, 2003

One of my bigger fears in life is that my burgeoning, youthful breasts could soon develop self-supporting breasts of their own. As a measure against this possibility, Adam and I joined the local gym a few months ago. I’d never even stepped into a gym before let alone worked out in one, so I was [...]

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“I’m Jerk-ing Off to E-mo-tions” (sung to trill escalation of four octaves)

February 23, 2003

When you’re fifteen and growing up in a surf resort-esque town, it’s uneasy to shake the belief that you’re the sole homo in the world, if not the feeling that you’re the only homo who doesn’t slot politely into a pastel-pink stereotype placeholder. Fortunately, grunge was the big thing at the time, so self-loathing was [...]

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Enid

February 22, 2003

I think I want to be the heavy metal version of Enid from Ghost World.

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Zed

February 11, 2003

… just started a live session of ‘Renegade Fighter’ on Channel V by holding up a mobile phone to the mic, and playing the ringtone version of the song as the intro. TERRIBLE!

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Metal Baby

February 11, 2003

The girl I sit next to at work is pregnant… she’s due in 10 weeks I think. Her and her boyfriend are both into metal, so I’ve convinced her to make the kid a metal baby. So we’re going to make some transfers of metal band logos onto little baby t-shirts. I told her to [...]

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The Fabulon Adventures of Adam

February 2, 2003

It was among the cacophany of a bar with a poorly-defined target market that Adam reached out for his beer. Our mate Jack noted a large burn on Adam’s arm with interest as he made this motion. ‘What happened there?’ he prodded the limb in question. After the screaming ceased and the roof of the [...]

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This is why I am hesitant about working in online advertising again

February 1, 2003

Dumb ads like this:

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Microsoft Jeb

January 31, 2003

I just checked my site on Adam’s computer using Apple’s iAutofellatioBrowser (well, Christ, that’s what you’d think it’d be called based on Apple devotee’s reactions)… it seems this site looks like Jeannie Little without her makeup on in everything but Internet Explorer. Text is purple all over the shop where it shouldn’t be. My soul [...]

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Canadon’t

January 31, 2003

A quick phone call from work just then confirmed that Adam and I can safely cross out the moving-to-Canada option. The terms on which I’d be sent over there are pretty unfavourable, so we’ve decided to screw it. Or snow-fuck it, as the case may be. Hopefully I’ll still get this new job I’ve applied [...]

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