From the category archives:

Retail nightmares

Coles: Now Stalking Me For Your Benefit

March 5, 2009

Recently, I learnt that our local Coles supermarket is somewhat of a national testing ground. Apparently our suburb is almost equally covered by poor, middle-class, rich, and drug-abusing-AFL-player demographics – creating an ideal environment for Coles to test their latest bonkers ideas on us. New store layouts and other experiments are constantly carried out at [...]

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The Dyson is Right

February 9, 2009

Over the weekend, we happened to pass a store in South Melbourne with the gut-bustingly enthusiastic name: READY, STEADY, VACUUM! The store cracked me up because it sounds like a gameshow gagging to be hosted by Ian Turpie. Presumably, the premise wouldn’t be too dissimilar from the sadly-retired Supermarket Sweep, but retooled for a more [...]

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Nandon’t

December 14, 2008

Everyone’s got an awesome local takeaway food shop in their area. Here in Port Melbourne, it’s the awesome chicken shop we have nearby. The two blokes who run this joint are champs. You get discounts if you’re a local, a guaranteed laugh, free food if your order is taking a little while to prepare, and [...]

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‘Tis the Season To Be Terrified

December 13, 2008

Curses! I’ve normally completed all of my dreary Christmas shopping in November, but seem to have dropped the ball this year. At the risk of my mental coherence, I’m about to plunge headlong into Melbourne’s major shopping area less than two weeks before Christmas. Considering how bonkers things can get in major department stores at [...]

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There’s Always One Satanic Bad Egg

November 24, 2008

It’s with great trepidation that I write any blog entry revolving around the word “egg”. Inevitably, Adam will peer over my shoulder and then we’ll be egg-converting words all evening to, frankly, what results in very little hilarity. It’s an egg-scruitating egg-sercise in seeing who can egg-ceed the other’s ability to egg up the most [...]

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Ladies Should… Poo?

October 21, 2008

Against every fibre of my being, something inside me wants to rise up and destroy every physical object in the postcode region when I see prominently displayed spelling errors. Our local discount emporium is currently blaring the following fluorescent green sign out the front of their store, in what I truly hope is a discount [...]

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