Posts tagged as:

Advertising

If You’re Served Pancakes on your Next Plane Flight, Jump Out the Airlock

July 2, 2009

According to a friend of mine, I’m obsessed with referring to humanity’s inevitably doomed future within my blog entries. In fact, when I happened to catch a TV commercial for “Napisan, now with built in oxy-intelligence!” last night — my initial reaction was “wow — that sounds like how Skynet started”. I’m sure Dynamo Sentient [...]

2 comments Read the full post →

These 12 Seconds of Film Tormented My Childhood

June 2, 2009

Writing about IMAX yesterday reminded me of one of my biggest childhood fears. It wasn’t the dark, it wasn’t monsters, it was… Village Roadshow’s ominous, creepy cinema logo from the 1980s. Just hearing the opening sound effect — which I imagined to be the noise of an undead rapist grinding a steak knife against the [...]

5 comments Read the full post →

How to Confuse Drunk Viewers of Sports TV into Gambling Their Money Away

May 19, 2009

After a recent poker night in which I inexplicably did pretty well, I’ve been watching a little televised poker. As far as I can tell, One HD doesn’t have much else to broadcast yet, besides foreign cricket matches and Slamball. What particularly struck me on this show was seeing an advertisement for a new poker [...]

0 comments Read the full post →

The Stupidest Retail Outlets in My End of the City

March 9, 2009

Hope everyone in Melbourne survived the minor earthquake on Friday night without any problems, and nobody was getting their genitals pierced or tattoos inked at the time. Just can’t help but fret that someone, somewhere, underwent a horrible body modification experience with unexpected earthquake-induced consequences… It’s a public holiday here today, so most of the [...]

7 comments Read the full post →

Marketers, The Dictionary is not your Random Flavour Generator

March 4, 2009

There’s an increasing marketing habit I’ve observed with food advertising in recent times, and I have something to say. Corporations, take note: places are not flavours. For example, what the hell am I supposed to assume “southwest sauce” is before Subway slop it all over my miserable, wrinkled sandwich? The gritty, earthy taste of Arizonian [...]

3 comments Read the full post →

Meat Your Maker

January 11, 2006

Y’know how there’s those food facts people gleefully let loose… things you really didn’t want to know? I’m not talking about bullshit like KFC serving rabbit, but queasy facts that put you off your dinner quicker than Channel 10′s bright idea for Monday-to-Friday primetime viewing (an Australian version of The Biggest Loser? Five nights a [...]

0 comments Read the full post →

Originality Zero

January 3, 2006

So I’ve successfully managed my first day back at work without plunging back into the world of liquor. Even after someone belatedly pushed a Secret Santa present my way – a bottle of wine. Luckily, wine is not something I’ve ever craved or been particularly fond of, so it’s just sitting on display in the [...]

0 comments Read the full post →

Wink Wink!

May 14, 2005

I’ve recently had an operation, so certain areas of my body still feel like they’re part of some neverending hydroclauric acid fondue party. To counter this, I’ve been watching some embarassing DVD purchases I’d care not to mention, such as Buffy, Babylon 5, a few DVDs to keep my mind off things. Incredibly, I’ve now [...]

0 comments Read the full post →

Lowest Airfares Creepily Guaranteed

March 14, 2005

While my athletic endurance is building up to a level worthy of the enthusiasm of the Flight Centre captain, my muscular strength remains low. In my dodgy neighbourhood, this means I can likely succesfully integrate myself into the civic consumer-entrepeneurial economic microredistribution of wealth (ie nicking handbags and doing a runner), before working my way [...]

0 comments Read the full post →

Dear Corporations of the World

February 4, 2005

Cease referring to your products and services as solutions. You should not make me so angry about petty marketing terms when I am drunk, but you do. Stop it, stop it, stop it. Insert cry icon here.

0 comments Read the full post →
Page 1 of 212