Posts tagged as:

Cars

Top 10 Worst Named Cars Ever Sold in Australia

June 23, 2009

While I was researching my recent car purchase, I came across some car names which are terrible enough to knock the wind out of you. Although most of them are likely due to language barriers, they all sound like expressions of enthusiasm from the 1970s or children’s cartoon characters. This list only covers cars sold [...]

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Datsun Sunny: Not the Manliest Car Name Ever

June 17, 2009

We haven’t owned a car for the last 10 years. My preferred illusion is that we’re environmentally conscious, when the quiet reality is that my last experience owning a car was like being married to Pete Doherty. Sure, sometimes it’d start if it was feeling perky. Other times it’d lie drooling in my driveway in [...]

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Licence to… Point Out When You Need Your Hazard Lights On

January 7, 2006

Man, I’m happy that Nein lost the rights to the footy. No more of the Nein bullshit like Eddie, the skycam (which was totally ridiculous for a game which pisses about all over the oval, not up and down the field like league does), ridiculous juggling of live matches with the NRL – although I’m [...]

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I Haven’t Slaughtered Anyone Since March

June 3, 2001

Since March I have experienced a unique freedom and liberation. So many of us are trapped in a prison we fail to notice. It was only after I rid myself of the offending item in question that I fully understood my self-imposed imprisonment. You should sell your car too. Only in your post-automobile euphoria will [...]

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Your Petty Life-Threatening Personal Anecdotes are Useless Here

April 11, 2001

It’s now the third week of my new job, and I feel like I’m gradually beginning to get to know everyone. At least I’ve figured out if I can make jokes about drugs, knowing that I will receive a laugh in response instead of suspicious, awkward silence. There’s one girl in particular who’s made me [...]

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A Tub of Lard. NOW!

February 21, 2001

Half of my possessions are still in the boxes we moved them in, but our new place in the city is looking pretty good. It’s a notable improvement from our shoebox in the outer west, at the very least. I also believe the rent we’re now paying is enough to cause a drop in the [...]

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Just Hello

November 29, 2000

Today’s entry is brought to you by: Finally, we’ve figured out how to beat Coke: by adding alcohol to our drinks! ***** When our group at work goes outside for a cigarette break, I usually trundle along behind them. They’re not rude enough to exclude me from the cigarette crew, but everyone knows I don’t [...]

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Oh! I Forgot Your Heroin

July 11, 2000

Me: (answers phone) Hello, how can I help you? My mum: Oh, hello! It’s your mum! Me: Oh, hi! How’s it going! My mum: Good! Just calling to say that we’ll meet you outside your work tonight, when you finish. We just arrived in Sydney from our Brisbane holiday. Me: Um… weren’t you supposed to [...]

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Legacy of Crap

July 2, 2000

Train timetables are a great thing. They’re even better if the train drivers have seen them too, although I guess timetables are a new concept to most Sydney train drivers. Every day I get to work on time just by the skin of my teeth (yes, I have a rare condition which results in skin [...]

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The Automovehicle

June 24, 2000

At work on Wednesday: Mr Marketing: Parappa, just to make sure you know, you’re not allowed to smoke outside this building, okay? Parappa the Rapper: Well, I don’t smoke anyway, but why is that? Mr Marketing: Apparently the boss thinks it’s a bad image for our company. Jen: I heard he fired someone on the [...]

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