Posts tagged as:

Cleaning

Bosnia, NSW, 2000

January 22, 2006

This is one of those life-lesson factlets you expect to pick up along the way, but this continues to allude me: how the hell are you supposed to wash a strainer? You dip it in the water… all the crap stuck to it is hard to get out between the mesh. And it’s too hard [...]

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The Fabulon Adventures of Adam

February 2, 2003

It was among the cacophany of a bar with a poorly-defined target market that Adam reached out for his beer. Our mate Jack noted a large burn on Adam’s arm with interest as he made this motion. ‘What happened there?’ he prodded the limb in question. After the screaming ceased and the roof of the [...]

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Our Own War to Wage

October 14, 2001

‘I had a very good idea for a plan today,’ Adam burst into the apartment breathlessly. ‘And it involves you.’ Frowning, I was immediately suspicious. ‘Does this involve me engaging in breakfast temping again?’ I demanded. ‘No, no,’ Adam waved his hand dismissively. ‘I am worried that your plan will negate our long-held plan for [...]

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Moments of Universal Whinge

November 18, 2000

At first, when I was clearing the junk from on top of the fridge, it looked like marshmallow. Mmm, I thought. Marshmallow. However I did think it was a trifle strange that it was sitting in a coffee mug. I grabbed the mug to take a closer look, and peered into it. After prodding the [...]

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When I Grow Up, I Want to be an Arsehole

August 26, 2000

Wanted: a job. Preferably in a creative role and not working with salespeople (they’re idiots) or network technicians (there’s only so many Unix in-jokes I can handle). Will perform fantastic head in exchange for higher wage. Even if you’re female. Well… that’s how I felt at the start of the week. I finished my current [...]

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Introducing: Boob Woman

April 17, 2000

(Sung to the chorus of ‘Poison’) Don’t you treat me bad! Don’t you make me sad! We only know how to sing this one song! We might make you mad, but we’re a flash in the pan! Just hold your breath, soon it will be over… BAH! They made it to number one. Who’s responsible [...]

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Mmm, Ajaxy

September 8, 1999

Ajax Spray & Wipe Household Cleaner. It smells so nice, so why not use it as an ingredient in meals? I thought I should check it was okay to do this by calling their Consumer Information Service hotline. Consumer Information Representative: Hello, how can I help you? Me: Hi. I’ve got this bottle of Ajax [...]

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