Posts tagged as:

Clothing

Fact: I Own the Shiniest Pants in the Universe

September 21, 2009

Wearing pants is important in society, apparently. However, I find clothes shopping so unbearably tedious, it makes me want to gnaw off my own arm. After extravagantly splitting my pants in public, though, I’ve learnt it’s a sensible move to buy new work pants a little more often. Whenever the major department stores hold a [...]

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Backdraft 2: Revenge of the Electric Blanket

April 21, 2009

I’m one of those kids who grew up in the fearless 80s with both an electric blanket and an occasional bed-wetting problem. Hey, I turned out okay! My parents even refused to replace my Target-brand electric blanket when it began exposing raw wires, assuring me “it’ll be right”. Perhaps it’s the childhood comfort of climbing [...]

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Evil Hoodie of Big Gay Love

October 16, 2005

My ages-old iPod completely died in the arse on Friday, so I ashamedly purchased an iPod Scratcho today. It seems okay so far, but from what I can gather, it should have begun the highly functional and stylish Apple process of self-destruction in a few days, finally decomposing as a metal husk resembling nothing more [...]

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Freshly Pierced and Shaven

October 20, 2000

I’ve learnt the hard way that VMM32.VXD is apparently vital if you want a Windows 98 machine to boot up. I’m not sure why I was messing around with it. I don’t specifically remember actually making a point of messing around with it in the first place, but a few days ago – it was [...]

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Small Talker

September 11, 2000

I still don’t bloody know if I’ve got my job or not yet. I was promised by the job agency that they would let me know last week, and ‘if they hadn’t called by end of Friday, ring us back’. I rang on Friday afternoon only to be told that the guy handling my application [...]

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Legacy of Crap

July 2, 2000

Train timetables are a great thing. They’re even better if the train drivers have seen them too, although I guess timetables are a new concept to most Sydney train drivers. Every day I get to work on time just by the skin of my teeth (yes, I have a rare condition which results in skin [...]

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Mr Pop: Serial Murderer

May 22, 2000

Continued to muck around with Mr Marketing this week: Me: Oh, could you sign my timesheet please? Mr Marketing: Well, I’ll sign it… but if you think you’re getting paid, you’re mistaken. Me: Well, I certainly believe that I’m getting paid. Mr Marketing: You know, it’s good to have beliefs nowadays. They won’t necessarily take [...]

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The Free Crap Gauntlet Run

May 16, 2000

It was Mother’s Day on Sunday. I agreed to drive Adam and his two brothers to their mum’s place, which is near here, but not exactly walking distance. When they got back, Adam’s brothers gave me beer for my trouble. Is life always this good for taxi drivers? Sheesh, I might have to go buy [...]

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I’ll Be a Ghost

May 1, 2000

Yes, I’m sure Sega’s latest videogame console will follow the MINDBLOWING SUCCESS of all their previous consoles. Then again, even Nintendo has been known to have their hits and misses – does anyone remember the Virtual Boy? It was a shoulder-mounted headset that had rather shite black-and-white vision you squinted at through a set of [...]

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Benzophenone

April 29, 2000

For the first few days this week I was wondering where my pay was from my one day of temp work last week. I rang up my temp agency and they told me that the pay would be in later that afternoon, which it wasn’t. I checked again on Thursday and discovered I had double [...]

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