Posts tagged as:

Coming Out

“I’m Jerk-ing Off to E-mo-tions” (sung to trill escalation of four octaves)

February 23, 2003

When you’re fifteen and growing up in a surf resort-esque town, it’s uneasy to shake the belief that you’re the sole homo in the world, if not the feeling that you’re the only homo who doesn’t slot politely into a pastel-pink stereotype placeholder. Fortunately, grunge was the big thing at the time, so self-loathing was [...]

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Arse

June 10, 2002

At least there’s no longer that niggling hindrance which requires me to individually track how much each employee of the company I work at knows about my personal life. Adam’s either a ‘flatmate’ or a ‘manfuck’, depending on how much the person involved knows. However, at some post-works drinks last week, one random staff member [...]

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Everything is Funny One Day

January 14, 2002

Everything is funny one day. This is the only motto I live by that I can think of. Even the most horrendously ball-crushing moments of despair and embarrassment can be reflected upon in a year’s time and chuckled upon. When Adam and I broke up just over a year ago, we concluded that we’d become [...]

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A Christmas Story Which I Procrastinated Finishing Until After Christmas

December 30, 2001

Since my parents learnt that Adam was more than a flatmate and I was more than a sad individual leading a futile girl-less life, he’s been embraced wholeheartedly as part of the family. Christmas and birthday presents are now flung enthusiastically his way each year, with increasingly larger and more expensive items being mailed to [...]

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Scrotie Pants

October 25, 2000

I think the VXD files on my PC are the ones with the secret networks. I can feel them plotting against me again. My computer had a slight splutter this evening and I’m a bit worried. I think the VXD files are beginning to resemble the Ku Klux Klan. In fact, there’s a lot of [...]

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Freshly Pierced and Shaven

October 20, 2000

I’ve learnt the hard way that VMM32.VXD is apparently vital if you want a Windows 98 machine to boot up. I’m not sure why I was messing around with it. I don’t specifically remember actually making a point of messing around with it in the first place, but a few days ago – it was [...]

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The Coming Out Game™

September 22, 2000

A while back, our mate Cam came out as a gay guy to four people within 24 hours. Thus, The Coming Out Game was incepted. Not to be outdone, I succesfully came out to five people within 24 hours. You get double points for a bad reaction, and I got a reaction that was mildly [...]

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Oh! I Forgot Your Heroin

July 11, 2000

Me: (answers phone) Hello, how can I help you? My mum: Oh, hello! It’s your mum! Me: Oh, hi! How’s it going! My mum: Good! Just calling to say that we’ll meet you outside your work tonight, when you finish. We just arrived in Sydney from our Brisbane holiday. Me: Um… weren’t you supposed to [...]

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Battered Turd Syndrome

June 15, 2000

Date: Tue, 13 Jun 2000 10:48:23PM (GMT +10:00) Subject: The Colonel To: webmaster@kfc.com Hi. In Australia, I notice you sell a burger named ‘The Colonel’s Choice Chicken Fillet Burger’. How can the Colonel personally choose what chicken he uses when he’s dead? Is there’s something you’re not telling us all? Er… there WAS only one [...]

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This Food Tastes Like Armpit

May 8, 2000

From Tuesday to Friday last week I did temp work at a pretty interesting company. I really enjoyed it – the company treats its employees VERY well. I had a little trouble finding the company, which had two entrances to their building. I entered one entrance, hoping I’d picked the right one. Me: Hi, I’m [...]

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