Posts tagged as:

Dancing

Trapdance

April 26, 2009

My boyfriend has recently been inflicting an abhorrent form of mental warfare. Whenever he’s doing his absolute best to shit me, out comes this slow rumble: “Heads… shoulders… knees and toes…. knees… and… toes….” That’s all it takes for the goddamn song to be stuck in my head all day. Just like any good torturer [...]

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Prepare for Ricky Martin to Confuse/Terrify You Even Further

February 7, 2009

Adam has this wincingly bad method of attempting to obscure any lapses in his vocabulary, by hastily inventing new terminology. Most commonly in these situations, he’s smashed and can barely get a sentence out anyway. This summer he’s drawlingly requested that I turn on the “electric wind” (fan). This is a seasonal appearance, obviously – [...]

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Canadon’t

January 31, 2003

A quick phone call from work just then confirmed that Adam and I can safely cross out the moving-to-Canada option. The terms on which I’d be sent over there are pretty unfavourable, so we’ve decided to screw it. Or snow-fuck it, as the case may be. Hopefully I’ll still get this new job I’ve applied [...]

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