Posts tagged as:

Embarrassment

Paranoid Adenoid

April 15, 2009

All my life, I’ve had problems with my nose. It constantly runs, intermittently feels like my nostrils’ breathing passages have sealed over, and often talk like I’ve got my nose pinched. People think I’m just doing my best impression of Placebo’s Brian Molko most of the time. Sexy, I know. But it’s just something I’ve [...]

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Whodunnyit?

January 26, 2009

Edit: Google has removed these images, but they originally showed a bloke doing his business on an outdoor toilet for the world to see. You may have seen a Google Street View photo going around of this poor bastard in the last few days. That house is actually within walking distance of my place. My [...]

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I’m a Pants Man

December 29, 2008

After taking a week off work for Christmas, I had an odd experience travelling to work today. You see, I couldn’t quite work out why I was getting such odd looks on the tram. A really odd mix of disturbed and amused looks. I shrugged it off, I look odd at the best of times. [...]

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The Fabulon Adventures of Adam

February 2, 2003

It was among the cacophany of a bar with a poorly-defined target market that Adam reached out for his beer. Our mate Jack noted a large burn on Adam’s arm with interest as he made this motion. ‘What happened there?’ he prodded the limb in question. After the screaming ceased and the roof of the [...]

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I Could Have Been a Hero

October 30, 2002

One calendar year has almost rolled around since I began this job. It feels like I’ve only been employed here for a much shorter time than I actually have though, which I’m pretty sure is a good thing. (Or is that when you’re having great sex? Hmm). It’s only become apparent to me that my [...]

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Most Embarrassing Incident in Professional Career to Date: Candidate #1

August 19, 2002

Scene: The foyer area of Jeb’s work. All staff have left for drinks at the local hotel. Jeb enters stage right and Respected Office Worker enters stage left, simultaneously. Respected Office Worker: Oh! I thought everyone had gone out for drinks. Jeb: (stumbles through drunken haze) I just went. Worker: Ah. But now you’re here. [...]

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Stasis Areas of Office Buildings

September 16, 2001

Of recent years, frequenting department stores such as Myer, David Jones and Grace Bros. was a simple affair. You could stroll around at ease between the various departments and marvel at how the lack of staff competence decreased increasingly as you visited higher floors. (By the time you reach furniture on the top level, the [...]

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Uncoordination Zones

April 15, 2001

With a new company to work for, an overwhelmingly exciting new commuting route to work is now part of my daily routine. I’m still yet to draw a conclusion as to how I feel about the new train line I catch: although the carriages crawling along this line are packed to the gills, they have [...]

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I’ll Be a Ghost

May 1, 2000

Yes, I’m sure Sega’s latest videogame console will follow the MINDBLOWING SUCCESS of all their previous consoles. Then again, even Nintendo has been known to have their hits and misses – does anyone remember the Virtual Boy? It was a shoulder-mounted headset that had rather shite black-and-white vision you squinted at through a set of [...]

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It Almost Killed Me

July 22, 1999

Okay, I’ve got a really bad mouth ulcer. And what’s the worst thing you can do when you’ve got a really bad mouth ulcer? Eat McDonalds. (Actually, that’s the worst thing you can do without a mouth ulcer, but that’s beside the point). You never really realise just how much those fries are caked in [...]

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