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Food

Mwaaaaagh!

January 17, 2000

Every morning at approximately 6.15am in this house I hear this noise coming from my shower… “Mwaaaaaaaaaaaagh!” Every morning I’m woken up by Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh. I knew it was of human origin but it was quite a challenge coming to some sort of conclusion as to which orifice it originated from. This morning when I heard [...]

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Welcome to Jeb & Sons, Inc

January 14, 2000

Today at work we found out the company we work for is opening a new call centre in Tweed Heads, Queensland. We also found out that there were quite a few jobs going there, and if we wanted to transfer there we could, but we had to make our decision by Monday. I came home [...]

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The Poojob: Car of the Year 2000

January 11, 2000

Yay – our contracts got extended at least until May at work, although they’ve warned us that they are ‘downsizing’ a bit, and a few of us will have to go. I think I’ll be okay though. That was really the only interesting thing that happened at work today, really. I spent most of the [...]

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How to Win a Long-Running Argument

January 10, 2000

When I get up late in the morning, it usually means a trip to McDonalds for breakfast. (I still have fears of McDonalds car parks after New Year’s). I heard something funny as I was eating my meal, when one of the McEmployees served some dero who’d wandered in: McEmployee: (in a voice far too [...]

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Geography Gladiators

January 7, 2000

I went to Corio Village, a shopping centre this afternoon after work – I had to visit a friend out Corio way and needed to pick up some food as well. Corio is the end of Geelong where the bogans live, and the unemployment rate tends to be a little higher than the rest of [...]

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Channel 7 in Subliminal Charity Support Shock

January 5, 2000

I rang up my old work, the TAFE college yesterday to catch up with the two Reception Bimbos. They’re both pretty cool. Probably the coolest thing is that they let me call them the Reception Bimbos to their face. However, when I rang up, neither of the Reception Bimbos answered the phone. It was another [...]

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$2 Embryos

January 3, 2000

Last night I was chatting with my friend Rhino… Rhino: What is that around your neck? Me: Oh, it’s a little dragon tooth thing. Rhino: Dragon tooth? Must be rare… Me: Yep, the $2 Shop is investing in anthropology now, I hear… Rhino: I hear the Reject Shop do frozen embryos now. They’re fine, they [...]

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Spanish Dancers on Cocaine and Traffic Control

December 24, 1999

This morning, as I stumbled out of the house still half asleep (well, that’s what happens when you stay up late 6 nights in a row – God, I love Nodoze tablets), I noticed I was a bit low on petrol and decided to fill up. I’ve already mentioned here that I dread going to [...]

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Mmm, Fromage-y!

December 23, 1999

Today as I was driving in to work, I drove past a van that at first I thought said ‘Geelong Breweries’. When I looked at it again, I realised it actually said ‘Geelong Rewiring’. Dyslexia, anyone? I found out today that Monowoman, who sits next to me, is a big fan of the band Aqua. [...]

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Never Mess With a Jilted Woman who Works at a Video Store

December 20, 1999

Ms. J, who I sit next to at work, has discovered my Game Boy, and now sits glued to the thing all day. It’s a bit suspicious though, because the game she plays the most is Pokemon Pinball, which has a built-in feature which makes the Game Boy vibrate when you hit something in the [...]

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