Posts tagged as:

Hair

Niplash

February 3, 2005

My hair is now officially receding. This will likely set forth some terrifying chain of events in my life, starting with Soundgarden being added to the “classic hits” FM stations as of tomorrow. Although, granted, I’ve had a bit of problem with hair from the word go. I’ve never been able to grow hair on [...]

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The Infinite Goatee

December 5, 2000

It was probably around 1am on Saturday morning when my blood stream turned into my alcohol stream. The next morning began in a very Homer Simpson-esque manner. Due to the Jim Beam of the night before, I couldn’t seem to keep anything down. It was quite amusing, leaning into the toilet, then turning away and [...]

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Plane Crash in Africa

October 2, 2000

Amber: Hello, I’m Amber! Me: Hi. Amber: I’m going to be your waitress todayyyy! (trills) Big Mo: (grimacing) Ugh. Okay. Amber: I just moved up to Sydney, you know! And stuff! Me: From the USA? Amber: YEAHHHH! (giggles) Big Mo: Did you waitress over there too? Amber: Why YES! Me: Cool. Amber: I used to [...]

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Hello, I have crabs. Hire me!

September 6, 2000

If I don’t get this job, I’m kinda screwed. I haven’t even been told that I have the job, but I’m walking around like I already do. Well… there WAS only one other person interviewed for the job, after all. Also, the guy at the recruitment agency said it’s looking ‘very, very positive’ for me. [...]

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When I Grow Up, I Want to be an Arsehole

August 26, 2000

Wanted: a job. Preferably in a creative role and not working with salespeople (they’re idiots) or network technicians (there’s only so many Unix in-jokes I can handle). Will perform fantastic head in exchange for higher wage. Even if you’re female. Well… that’s how I felt at the start of the week. I finished my current [...]

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BEDLAM!

August 17, 2000

I have this thing for goatees. I find ugly men suddenly turn incredibly good looking with a goatee. Even that doctored picture that was floating around the net a few years ago of the Spice Girls with goatees was remotely attractive. Jack from Dispatch at my work (remember? he has a head shaped like a [...]

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Legacy of Crap

July 2, 2000

Train timetables are a great thing. They’re even better if the train drivers have seen them too, although I guess timetables are a new concept to most Sydney train drivers. Every day I get to work on time just by the skin of my teeth (yes, I have a rare condition which results in skin [...]

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My Washing Machine Runneth Over

June 28, 2000

I can’t believe I missed McHappy Day. There’s nothing funnier than visiting your local suburban McDonalds on McHappy Day and trying to identify the hordes of “celebrities” that are serving customers. These so-called famous people are usually little more than school principals and local politicians but it’s all a silly laugh nonetheless. Two years ago [...]

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The ABC is Run by Evil Sparrows

May 28, 2000

We’re having problems with our lights at the moment. We have to replace the lightblubs for one particular light on almost a weekly basis, but now it just won’t turn on at all. The fuse must have blown or something. Torana came around to visit us and immediately started laughing at us because we were [...]

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This Food Tastes Like Armpit

May 8, 2000

From Tuesday to Friday last week I did temp work at a pretty interesting company. I really enjoyed it – the company treats its employees VERY well. I had a little trouble finding the company, which had two entrances to their building. I entered one entrance, hoping I’d picked the right one. Me: Hi, I’m [...]

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