Posts tagged as:

Hair

Introducing: Boob Woman

April 17, 2000

(Sung to the chorus of ‘Poison’) Don’t you treat me bad! Don’t you make me sad! We only know how to sing this one song! We might make you mad, but we’re a flash in the pan! Just hold your breath, soon it will be over… BAH! They made it to number one. Who’s responsible [...]

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Why I’ll Never Have a Data Entry Job Ever Again

April 14, 2000

It’s been about a week since I last updated because I’ve been so busy it’s not funny. As you may know by now, I got a new job last week. More about that later. Total random thought: I wonder what an orgasm would feel like backwards. It’d be all over before it began, really. But [...]

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The Magic Boxer Shorts

March 15, 2000

It’s St. Patrick’s Day on Friday. I’m sure there is some sort of meaning behind St. Patrick’s Day, but as far as I’m concerned I’m happy to support any event that primarily revolves around drinking. A group of people from work and myself are going out on Friday for a goodbye party thing for myself, [...]

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Screw this Raping and Pillaging, I’m Going Home to do the Gentle Touch Crossword

March 1, 2000

Big changes are ahead for me. I’m quitting my job to move in with my new man in Sydney, Adam. This’ll all happen in around the middle of March. This will prove very interesting as I know as much about Sydney as I do about the clitoris. (Damn you, homosexuality!) I might have to get [...]

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The Good News: Medicare Now Covers Anagrams

January 27, 2000

I went and got my haircut yesterday at this place my mum usually goes to. As soon as I walked in the joint I knew I was in for a rough time. See, I don’t even pretend to understand things like ‘layering’ and associated hairdressery words. All I want is to go in there, get [...]

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Maybe Calling Up Cigarette Vending Machines is the Vending Machine Equivalent of 1900

December 8, 1999

Today at work… Ant: I died my hair blonde because apparently blondes have more fun. Blonde woman: Oh, but then you cop all that dumb blonde stuff. Me: Ant’s dumb anyway. He just had to die his hair to face up to his stupidity. Blondes have more fun? Hmm. If I die my hair black, [...]

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CityStink

August 16, 1999

If you don’t live in Melbourne you’re most likely unaware of the hullaballoo surrounding the newly opened tollway, CityLink. It sort of annoys me that the media were picking on CityLink on every available opportunity, and now that it’s open, they’re licking CityLink’s arse (probably hoping for gold passes or something). Uh, I guess really [...]

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Introducing Cottee’s Bourbon Cordial

August 8, 1999

My work (a uni) recently introduced a 1800 freecall phone number for general inquiries. This has lead to absolute mayhem with students abusing it and making prank calls. Since they found out about this phone number I’ve had a ton of those stupid “I. P. Daily” type names given for messages, but I think the [...]

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I’m So Sorry My Dear, I Can’t Sleep With You. I Have a Hunchback

May 13, 1999

Today in a nearby shopping centre, a police band was providing some light entertainment during lunch. Except this was not your average police band. We’re talking a try hard guy on an electric guitar he didn’t dare to play a chord on, only single notes; a cheesy Casio keyboard, and a crapola electronic drum kit, [...]

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I Thought You’d Combed it or Something

April 24, 1999

Yesterday: Me: Hey, your hair looks different. Did you do something to it? Extremely vague female friend: Yes, I made it look different.

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