Posts tagged as:

Injuries

Post-Op… No, Not THAT Kind of Post-Op

August 27, 2009

My face currently resembles what would happen if Jeannie Little went completely over the edge, and began wildly swiping her own blood on her face as makeup. Yessir, I’m back from the hospital after my nose operation.
Before the operation, I’d over-ambitiously planned all sorts of books to read, housework to tidy up, basically make the [...]

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My Boyfriend, the Psychic Medical Doctor

July 27, 2009

Last week, Adam embarked on his traditional Friday night drunken bicycle ride home from work. Unluckily for him, the sky was shedding more tears than the contestants of a Channel 10 reality show, and the roads were rather sodden.
This resulted in a spectacular stack on his part – he was trying to lean into a [...]

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Wink Wink!

May 14, 2005

I’ve recently had an operation, so certain areas of my body still feel like they’re part of some neverending hydroclauric acid fondue party. To counter this, I’ve been watching some embarassing DVD purchases I’d care not to mention, such as Buffy, Babylon 5, a few DVDs to keep my mind off things.
Incredibly, I’ve now succesfully [...]

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Sunrage

January 18, 2005

I see that Latham resigned. That’s a shame. It would’ve been fairly symbolic, war-wise (even though he opposes Iraq), to eventually have our nation spearheaded by a man who gives off the impression of closing his eyes, counting to five, breathing deeply and silently mouthing mantras from his anger management classes before he can make [...]

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Blood: Fountaining from my Gums in Joy

May 10, 2004

When I was a kid, I had a wire installed behind my front teeth to straighten them up a little. After leading a happy, dentally oblivious life for the past 10 years; the wire snapped behind my front teeth last week.
Believing this was simply a piece of mangled meat caught behind in my wire – [...]

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Crisis Service Provider

September 12, 2002

It’s not every day you’re standing patiently at the traffic lights, idly performing your anal clench exercises when an elderly lady pulls a Jason Donovan and spontaneously falls to the ground.
I don’t mean a simple fall to the ground. I mean full-on, stay stiff as a plank and fall in a perfect arc, oh-my-god-what-are-all-these-purple-rats-running-around-me Jason [...]

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Putting Effort Into It

December 3, 2001

Straining against the onslaught of gale-force wind, I squinted up the hill ahead of me. The monstrous building towering over me was obviously my stationing for the day.
My first temp assignment in two months, and I’m duly sent out on the wettest and windiest day in ages. Still, one can’t complain. Cash flow and whatnot.
Licking [...]

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Cramps

August 5, 2001

The purpose of my day away from work was to recover from a mysterious stomach illness, but this ended up proving to be the least of my worries.
Splayed semiconscious on the lounge, drooling into a novel and foot firmly in a half-consumed bowl of cereal on the floor; I awaken groggily to discover my right [...]

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A is for Alcoholic

July 25, 2000

Jen’s last day at work was on Friday. However, she hadn’t turned up most of last week because she was sick. Genuinely sick. This doesn’t tend to look good in your last week of your job. When she arrived on Friday morning, she was basically escorted off the premises because my boss thought she was [...]

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How to Stuff Up a Potential Relationship with a Really Good Looking Woman (Even Though You’re Gay) Over Italian Beef Soup

June 20, 2000

Adam: Hmm, I really feel like some Japanese soup.
Me: Since when did you like Japanese food?
Adam: I had Japanese for lunch the other day.
Me: Ah. So now you like it, eh?
Adam: I have Japanese ancestry, you know.
Me: Oh, that’s a good one.
Adam: I’m serious.
Me: You’re the most unoriental person I know.
Adam: No, I must be [...]

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