Posts tagged as:

Melbourne

Which Australian Capital City Am I In?

January 13, 2001

A Seven Step Guide For When You’ve Just Woken Up In The Gutter From A Very Big Night Out. 1. Walk down one of the main streets of the city you happen to be in (eg Melbourne = Bourke St; Sydney = George St, etc). 2. Turn left into a side street. 3. Turn left [...]

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Scrotie Pants

October 25, 2000

I think the VXD files on my PC are the ones with the secret networks. I can feel them plotting against me again. My computer had a slight splutter this evening and I’m a bit worried. I think the VXD files are beginning to resemble the Ku Klux Klan. In fact, there’s a lot of [...]

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I’ll Be a Ghost

May 1, 2000

Yes, I’m sure Sega’s latest videogame console will follow the MINDBLOWING SUCCESS of all their previous consoles. Then again, even Nintendo has been known to have their hits and misses – does anyone remember the Virtual Boy? It was a shoulder-mounted headset that had rather shite black-and-white vision you squinted at through a set of [...]

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Life? Well It’s Like a Bicycle (You Get On and Go Round and Round and Round a Bit, and Then You Fall Off)

March 16, 2000

Well, it’s St Patrick’s Day tomorrow. Ms. J and The Rock wanted a big group of us to go straight to an Irish pub tomorrow night after work, which on reflection is seeming like a potential bad decision. Think about it. St Patrick’s Day. Where do people go? Irish pubs. Hopefully I’ll at least be [...]

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No Transsexual Prostitutes? I Refuse to Watch!

March 7, 2000

I spent the weekend in Sydney with Adam… only a few weeks to go until I move up there for good. Saturday morning: Waiter at a hotel I was at: So, are you going to the Mardi Gras tonight? Me: No. Sunday morning: Shop assistant: Did you go to the Mardi Gras last night? Me: [...]

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CityStink

August 16, 1999

If you don’t live in Melbourne you’re most likely unaware of the hullaballoo surrounding the newly opened tollway, CityLink. It sort of annoys me that the media were picking on CityLink on every available opportunity, and now that it’s open, they’re licking CityLink’s arse (probably hoping for gold passes or something). Uh, I guess really [...]

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Soggy Escalators of Doom

April 28, 1999

Yesterday, as I was catching the escalator out of the train station near my work, I noticed quite a disturbance ahead of me. People ahead of me on the escalator were suddenly reversing their direction and hurrying back down the escalators the wrong way, with looks of terror on their face. And why? Well, it [...]

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It’s Snot Funny

April 15, 1999

I’m writing this entry while I am supervising another night school exam at my work (a uni). I feel like a bit of a dill, because I suspected that 2 guys down the back of the room were copying each others’ work. I’d been giving them stern looks all evening (ah, power…) I thought I’d [...]

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