Posts tagged as:

Metal

If You’re a Journalist Suffering ADHD, I’ve Got a Magazine Who Wants to Employ You

May 25, 2009

For many years now, I’ve subscribed to Kerrang! magazine. If you’re unfamiliar with the subject matter, it was recently described as “the metal equivalent of a teenage gossip magazine” by the host of my favourite music podcast. He’s bang on the money. There’s been a few things that’ve started bugging me about the magazine in [...]

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Music Genres That Homos Should Claim As Their Own, IMMEDIATELY

April 2, 2009

The world’s current financial regurgitation has caused me to notice that everyone’s too bloody distracted to pay attention to whimisical matters at present. So, I’ve been concocting a plan. For too long, us gay folk have only lorded over the kind of dance music that perms hair through audio power alone. Disco is also a [...]

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The World Wide Jeb Guide to Soundwave 2009… and Related Dessert Treats

February 16, 2009

The entire spectrum of every American emo band EVER barging into Australia simultaneously can only mean one thing. No, it’s not a sudden outbreak of perplexed xenophobia from Bruce Ruxton (although a collective of emo bands’ ghostly and sudden appearance in the country will no doubt provoke this). No, nothing like that – the Soundwave [...]

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The <3 of Cain

January 14, 2006

Last night I excitedly galloped down to the Gaelic Club to see the Mark of Cain on their first tour since… forever. Man, I’ve been looking forward to seeing them play live – never seen them before, even though I’ve been a fan since I hosted a seriously dodgy community radio show as a teenager. [...]

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Sidewalk-Jacking

October 4, 2005

Have you ever found yourself casually ambling down a city street, only to encounter someone exiting a shop and joining the flow of pedestrians exactly alongside you? This results in the appearance that they’re actually accompanying you on your happy little stroll, and have been all afternoon. A sidewalk-jacker. The more polite inflictor of this [...]

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Metal Baby

February 11, 2003

The girl I sit next to at work is pregnant… she’s due in 10 weeks I think. Her and her boyfriend are both into metal, so I’ve convinced her to make the kid a metal baby. So we’re going to make some transfers of metal band logos onto little baby t-shirts. I told her to [...]

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A List of My Favourite Machine Head Lyrics Which I Like to Interpret as Invitations for Sexual Intercourse From Their Singer, Robert Flynn

July 23, 2001

‘Force fed to love it/And now I swallow whole’ – Davidian ‘Suck my power empty’ – Old ‘You want some shit?/I’ll fuckin’ pound you, son’ – A Thousand Lies ‘I gotta vent or I blow inside’ – A Thousand Lies ‘You’re gonna die grovelling on your knees’ – Death Church ‘It hardens me, the things [...]

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An Announcement From Napster, Inc.

March 18, 2001

(No more Napster journal entries after this, I promise) FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE WEDNESDAY: Napster Inc. would like to announce that our snotty little teenage CEO has been replaced by a figurehead of the industry. Mr Lars Ulrich is now our new Chief Executive Officer. We would like to welcome Lars on board. Mr. Ulrich has [...]

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Generic Conversation With a Metallica Fan

January 23, 2001

Metallica fan: Oi! Oi! Oi! Me: Oh, I see a Metallica song is the most played song on this jukebox. Metallica fan: Yes! They’re the best! Me: That’s what Napster users tell me. Metallica fan: Um… Napster? Me: Never mind. Metallica fan: Oi! Oi! Oi! (bangs head) Me: So. They’re a bit crap now, aren’t [...]

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Freshly Pierced and Shaven

October 20, 2000

I’ve learnt the hard way that VMM32.VXD is apparently vital if you want a Windows 98 machine to boot up. I’m not sure why I was messing around with it. I don’t specifically remember actually making a point of messing around with it in the first place, but a few days ago – it was [...]

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