Posts tagged as:

Mobile Phones

The Loudest Ringtone Known to Man

January 19, 2010
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Over the weekend, I attended the carnival day for Melbourne’s queer festival, Midsumma. It’s always a bit of an odd event, especially with all the stalls and attractions that have only the most tenuous relationship to the queer community. Exactly why Myki (Melbourne’s new public transport ticketing system) had such an enormous presence at the [...]

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Your Favourite Phone Sucks

January 17, 2006

Goddamn if I don’t hate mobile freakin’ phones. Mobiles used to be fine. Bleeping, kermit-green-screened Nokias which actually emitted ringtones that sounded like ringtones, not the latest Sugababes single reinterpreted as 80s Casio-goth-synth. When having Snake on your phone was an awesome, mindblowing extra feature. And now what do we have? Blurry cameras which take [...]

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Let Me Broadcast My Indviduality From a Selection of 30 Ringtones

February 23, 2005

Synthetic ringtone. Office phone ringtone. Ascending ringtone. Salsa ringtone. Soundtrack to Sega Master System puzzle game ringtone. Yes, you’re stuck on the train, alone in the carriage with someone else undergoing the intense dilemma of selecting a ringtone on their new phone. The Star Wars theme. The Simpsons theme. The Addams Family theme. The Fuckwit [...]

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Things That Go BzzBANG in the Night

July 6, 2000

This is a ring of Adam’s, featuring the ‘A’ symbol for anarchy. Adam bought it some years ago because he thought it was a cool ring. He also bought it unaware that it was the symbol for anarchy. He just thought it was the letter A… as in A for Adam. So it became the [...]

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The ABC is Run by Evil Sparrows

May 28, 2000

We’re having problems with our lights at the moment. We have to replace the lightblubs for one particular light on almost a weekly basis, but now it just won’t turn on at all. The fuse must have blown or something. Torana came around to visit us and immediately started laughing at us because we were [...]

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Press 8 to Donate

December 6, 1999

Once again, I got somebody else’s voicemail on my mobile phone. I keep getting phone calls for a guy named John from Sydney. The problem is, all his friends seem to have speech disabilities as they’re terribly difficult to understand. I think he got offered a job today, which is really bad. I wish I [...]

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Where I’ve Been, or How To Finish Zelda on Nintendo 64 in only Two Months

November 28, 1999

Well, I’m back. I finally got a job! For the last two months I’ve been half heartedly looking for a job. For some reason that you can only understand when you’re unemployed, I thought it would be a really good idea if I played The Legend Of Zelda on the Nintendo for most of these [...]

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DJ Wobbly

April 26, 1999

Today I went to the milk bar near my work to get some milk for the office. I had to ask for a receipt, because it was being paid for by my work. When I asked for a receipt, the horribly scary woman behind the counter goes “Oh but only because you’re such a sweetie”. [...]

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