Posts tagged as:

Plane Flights

If You’re Served Pancakes on your Next Plane Flight, Jump Out the Airlock

July 2, 2009

According to a friend of mine, I’m obsessed with referring to humanity’s inevitably doomed future within my blog entries. In fact, when I happened to catch a TV commercial for “Napisan, now with built in oxy-intelligence!” last night — my initial reaction was “wow — that sounds like how Skynet started”. I’m sure Dynamo Sentient [...]

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Flying Studio Assault

November 14, 2001

Bright yellow sunlight flooded the airport terminal, leading me to curse Qantas’ modernistic architectural leanings. Glass and whiteness is all well and good, but concrete disfigurement is easier on the eyes at 6.30am. A mixture of beleaguered businessmen and giggly women doubtlessly on their way to the Melbourne Cup wearing hats which could easily double [...]

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Scrotie Pants

October 25, 2000

I think the VXD files on my PC are the ones with the secret networks. I can feel them plotting against me again. My computer had a slight splutter this evening and I’m a bit worried. I think the VXD files are beginning to resemble the Ku Klux Klan. In fact, there’s a lot of [...]

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No Transsexual Prostitutes? I Refuse to Watch!

March 7, 2000

I spent the weekend in Sydney with Adam… only a few weeks to go until I move up there for good. Saturday morning: Waiter at a hotel I was at: So, are you going to the Mardi Gras tonight? Me: No. Sunday morning: Shop assistant: Did you go to the Mardi Gras last night? Me: [...]

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If You Drink Eat Cake and Drive, You’re a Bloody Idiot

February 2, 2000

The jokes about my sunburn continue. I’m going to Sydney this weekend to meet Adam for the first time, but today he said to me on the phone: Adam: I’ll know how to find you at the airport. Me: How? Adam: You’ll be the only glow-in-the-dark person in the terminal. The Rock, however, couldn’t make [...]

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Is That on your Cheque, Savings or Burp ‘n Fart Account?

January 18, 2000

Not long until I fly up to Sydney for a weekend. I’m really exited. I’m aiming to steal more than $15 worth of stuff from the Qantas plane I’m flying up on (this was a record set by a friend of mine). Has anyone ever taken more than $15 of stuff from a plane? Let [...]

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The Only Way is Illiteracy

January 16, 2000

I’m very excited – I found out last night that my favourite band Filter is playing a Melbourne gig in mid February. This is the first time I’ve seen them, and a rare chance too as they’re from the US. I can’t wait! ***** I was downloading some new fonts last night, and I’ve noticed [...]

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Warning: Today’s Entry Contains Phenylalanine

January 13, 2000

Last night I was having a few drinkies seeing as the weather was so hot. I normally steer clear of drinking Coke after dinner because it keeps me awake, but seeing as I was drinking bourbon (which in theory should make you tired, although it has the opposite effect on me), and Coke makes you [...]

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