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Police

Hey, We’re Just Protecting the Neighbourhood

July 29, 2009

Every now and then, I gleefully entertain fantasies of laughing in the face of my current job, and becoming a full-time house painter. A mate of mine continues to espouse a theory that a bunch of us could all easily slap a few licks of paint on buildings for a living, but makes the activity [...]

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Terminator 5: Rise of the Greased Pontoons

March 2, 2009

As locals are already aware, the following SMS was sent to all residents of Victoria today: Nobody is going to argue this isn’t a good idea. I’m certainly not going to poke fun at the bushfires, especially considering my best mate has been going through a series of terrifying evacuations up in the Dandenongs. It’s [...]

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Do You Mind if I Just Unzip my Pants and Widdle All Over Your Car?

June 25, 1999

Today I had a weird premonition spooky thing. I was talking to this guy on the train home tonight, and he needed a lift to his mate’s place. He seemed like a cool enough guy so I said, why not. He offered me one of the stubbies he was drinking, and I almost had it, [...]

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