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Threats

More Boycotts

March 16, 2009

This stupid blog turns 10 years old today. Hard to believe I’ve been posting such rubbish for so long, but there you go. To mark the occasion, I’ve compiled a new list of everything I’ve boycotted on this blog since my last boycotts post. READ AND LEARN. Friends who mock your painful foot blisters Boycott [...]

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Terminator 5: Rise of the Greased Pontoons

March 2, 2009

As locals are already aware, the following SMS was sent to all residents of Victoria today: Nobody is going to argue this isn’t a good idea. I’m certainly not going to poke fun at the bushfires, especially considering my best mate has been going through a series of terrifying evacuations up in the Dandenongs. It’s [...]

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The Truth About Xavier Rudd

February 11, 2009

It’s interesting to see how Xavier Rudd has grown in popularity over the years. Deliriously independent, socially conscious, so goddamn acoustic he makes Jack Johnson seem like Kerry King by comparison; everyone certainly seems to have warmed to him and his ways. All of which is utterly alien to me, because XAVIER RUDD USED TO [...]

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Top Five Reasons We’re Moving House

January 5, 2009

We’re moving house in a few weeks. This has caused us to reassess all the things we’ve never been able to do or buy in our current house. We’ve concluded the top five benefits are: 1. Domestic boxing bag Adam has longed for a boxing bag in the home, but we’ve never had enough room. [...]

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‘Tis the Season To Be Terrified

December 13, 2008

Curses! I’ve normally completed all of my dreary Christmas shopping in November, but seem to have dropped the ball this year. At the risk of my mental coherence, I’m about to plunge headlong into Melbourne’s major shopping area less than two weeks before Christmas. Considering how bonkers things can get in major department stores at [...]

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There’s Always One Satanic Bad Egg

November 24, 2008

It’s with great trepidation that I write any blog entry revolving around the word “egg”. Inevitably, Adam will peer over my shoulder and then we’ll be egg-converting words all evening to, frankly, what results in very little hilarity. It’s an egg-scruitating egg-sercise in seeing who can egg-ceed the other’s ability to egg up the most [...]

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The Life History of Maggie “Evil” Tabberer

November 6, 2008

For some reason, Maggie Tabberer scares the shit out of me. She just seems to exhude pure evil. I mean, look at her. Wearing a cape and… plotting. You try and prove anyone wearing a cape isn’t evil (my own 15-year-old goth misadventures in a quest to find a sense of self not included). That [...]

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Spiderdick

January 16, 2001

Recently I was lying in bed and saw a strange shape moving around in the blinds covering the window above me. After giving the blinds a quick whack, I realised that it was one mother of a giant spider. ‘It’s a tarantula!’ Adam murmured, half asleep next to me. ‘I don’t think so,’ I replied. [...]

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This is a Paperless Website

December 7, 1999

I hate having to go to the petrol station on my way to work. The reason I can’t stand it so much is because I usually haven’t woken up properly, and there’s no ruder wake-up call than inside a service station store. There’s so many colourful displays and things jumping out at me… it’s far [...]

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Why Worry About Y2K When You Can Look Forward to C2D?

September 2, 1999

Chatting last night with a friend of mine: Me: Do you know what we should be worried about? The Offspring live CD that was taped in Sydney. That’s getting released soon. Friend: Ergh. God save us. Me: And then… Celine Dion retires in the year 2000. Friend: Hahahha… Me: Seriously! She does. Most people are [...]

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