Posts tagged as:

Tourism

When Kiteboarders Fail – and Other Great Free, Cruel Forms of Entertainment

August 24, 2009

Free entertainment in your suburb isn’t a particularly vexing task. There’s a few fail-safe spectacles around my suburb which never fail to amuse… Watching angry customers teeter on the edge of sanity, as they wait for service at notoriously slow local cafes When you’re a local, you grow to learn which cafes are unbearably slow. [...]

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Top 10 Worst Victorian Town Names

August 6, 2009

Australia’s well known for having frequently bizarre town names. A mate of mine recently pointed out the town he grew up in on a state map of Victoria, and after taking a closer look, it boggled me. Every surrounding burb sounded like a World of Warcraft level, a Shakespearean insult, or a poo joke inflicted [...]

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Rollicking Theme Park Tour o’ Australia

December 13, 2001

Theme parks: they’re all quite similar, and too many of them in Australia feature shitty Australian animal petting zoos to coax over tourists who have flown over from Asian countries to exclusively visit Uluru and anything that involves koalas. If overpriced slurpees and hot-dogs (to please the Americans) accompanied by a slightly nagging sense of [...]

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Things That Go BzzBANG in the Night

July 6, 2000

This is a ring of Adam’s, featuring the ‘A’ symbol for anarchy. Adam bought it some years ago because he thought it was a cool ring. He also bought it unaware that it was the symbol for anarchy. He just thought it was the letter A… as in A for Adam. So it became the [...]

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I’ll Be a Ghost

May 1, 2000

Yes, I’m sure Sega’s latest videogame console will follow the MINDBLOWING SUCCESS of all their previous consoles. Then again, even Nintendo has been known to have their hits and misses – does anyone remember the Virtual Boy? It was a shoulder-mounted headset that had rather shite black-and-white vision you squinted at through a set of [...]

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Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch

January 8, 2000

My parents got back from their holiday at Phillip Island. If you’re not familiar with the area, basically it’s a dinky little island that tourists flock to because fairy penguins run up the beach every night. There’s been an oil spill recently at Phillip Island and I was hoping the tourists would all be horrified [...]

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I Doused Myself in Coke and Lit a Match

September 17, 1999

Oh, not really. But I’m not going to be able to update my journal thing for a while. Why? Because no job = no money = no internet = no updates (for now). Hopefully it won’t be too long before I get a job again. But until then, nothing much is happening here. The current [...]

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This is a Very Important Announcement! If You Don’t Do This in the Next Minute You Will ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO ECHO

September 15, 1999

Conversation with my mum earlier on today: My mum: Oh, this radio reception is so bad. It keeps going all loud then all quiet. Me: It could be your hearing. Do you find things go loud then quiet often? ***** I’m back from my little trip to Queensland. I’ve come to a few decisions during [...]

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The Way Tourists Should Be Informed

August 30, 1999

Well, down here in Geelong right now, it’s the Annual International Conference for Christian Booksellers. *non-commitally blows party whistle* If I worked at Tullamarine Airport in Melbourne, I reckon I’d wait at passenger terminals waiting for passengers to come off the plane, then feed them completely wrong information about Melbourne. Thus… My Tips For Foreign [...]

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