Posts tagged as:

Work

I Will Have a Half Bint, Thanks

March 9, 2000

I was on my way to work yesterday morning, driving up the highway, when suddenly the traffic slowed to a 30 kph crawl, in a 70 zone. It seemed everyone was craning their necks out of their car windows at something on the left side of the highway. Then it dawned on me. The Torquay [...]

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No Transsexual Prostitutes? I Refuse to Watch!

March 7, 2000

I spent the weekend in Sydney with Adam… only a few weeks to go until I move up there for good. Saturday morning: Waiter at a hotel I was at: So, are you going to the Mardi Gras tonight? Me: No. Sunday morning: Shop assistant: Did you go to the Mardi Gras last night? Me: [...]

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I’d Shoot Myself if My Banana Went Black, Too

March 3, 2000

Yes, I got a haircut. Anyone who makes comments like ‘Vanilla Ice lives!’ in the guestbook will get beaten up. The new Torquay McDonalds opens next week. It’s going to be such a laugh, half of Torquay is for it and half is against it, so there’s going to be demonstrations and everything out the [...]

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Screw this Raping and Pillaging, I’m Going Home to do the Gentle Touch Crossword

March 1, 2000

Big changes are ahead for me. I’m quitting my job to move in with my new man in Sydney, Adam. This’ll all happen in around the middle of March. This will prove very interesting as I know as much about Sydney as I do about the clitoris. (Damn you, homosexuality!) I might have to get [...]

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Hamburger Type Things

February 11, 2000

A while ago I had some problems with my tonsils. (Maybe ‘problems’ is too light a word considering my tonsils got so big I started choking on them and had to get an ambulance). Well, I woke up today and they’re starting to flare up. I really have to get these buggers yanked out of [...]

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Dynamic Crap Device

February 8, 2000

Yep, I’m back from Sydney. (Did you know on airplanes, when the oxygen masks drop down, that there’s a little oxygen mask that drops down in the toilet too? How cute is that? See, I do pay attention to the air stewards when they tell you all the safety procedures at the start of the [...]

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“Ride the Lightning”? Yeah, I Bet it’s Rainbow Lightning, Too

February 3, 2000

First it was my car – now another inanimate object is making fun of me. Every time I approach the elevators in the lobby at my work, the doors of one of them are usually open. However, just as I’m about to walk into the elevator, it usually shuts in my face and goes scuttling [...]

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The Good News: Medicare Now Covers Anagrams

January 27, 2000

I went and got my haircut yesterday at this place my mum usually goes to. As soon as I walked in the joint I knew I was in for a rough time. See, I don’t even pretend to understand things like ‘layering’ and associated hairdressery words. All I want is to go in there, get [...]

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Warning: Today’s Entry Contains Larry Emdur

January 21, 2000

Well, today at work we all got shuffled around into different departments and we all have to move to different cubicles. The good news is, I’m still sitting next to Ms. J, and the even better news is that on my other side is a woman I’m going to call ‘The Rock’. The Rock is [...]

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Welcome to Jeb & Sons, Inc

January 14, 2000

Today at work we found out the company we work for is opening a new call centre in Tweed Heads, Queensland. We also found out that there were quite a few jobs going there, and if we wanted to transfer there we could, but we had to make our decision by Monday. I came home [...]

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